“It doesn't matter how much you get; you are left wanting more.”

“There's power in looking silly and not caring that you do.”

“As an actor, you can certainly, at any moment and at any time, discover 400 people who think you're stupid, fat and ugly.”

“Rooting for other people's failure does get in the way of your success.”

“That is the motto women should constantly repeat over and over again. 'Good for her! Not for me.'”

“QUINCE Francis Flute, the bellows-mender. FLUTE Here, Peter Quince. QUINCE Flute, you must take Thisby on you. FLUTE What is Thisby? a wandering knight? QUINCE It is the lady that Pyramus must love. FLUTE Nay, faith, let me not play a woman; I have a beard coming.”

“A comedian can only last till he either takes himself serious or his audience takes him serious.”

“The essence of all jokes, of all comedy, seems to be an honest or well intended halfness; a non performance of that which is pretended to be performed, at the same time that one is giving loud pledges of performance. The balking of the intellect, is comedy and it announces itself in the pleasant spasms we call laughter.”

“Virtue and genuine graces in themselves speak what no words can utter.”

“Then others for breath of words respect, Me for my dumb thoughts, speaking in effect.”

“Nature her custom holds, Let shame say what it will.”

“Pardon, gentles all, the flat unraised spirits that have dared on this unworthy scaffold to bring forth so great an object.”

“Praise us as we are tasted, allow us as we prove.”

“A great while ago the world begun,With hey, ho, the wind and the rain;But that's all one, our play is done,And we'll strive to please you every day.”