"Satire, being levelled at all, is never..." - Quote by Jonathan Swift

“Pride, ill nature, and want of sense, are the three great sources of ill manners.”

“Modesty may make a fool seem a man of sense.”

“Daphne knows, with equal ease, How to vex and how to please; But the folly of her sex Makes her sole delight to vex.”

“In all recorded history there has not been one economist who has had to worry about where the next meal would come from.”

“If, during the Second World War, the United States had retooled its factories for manufacturing bicycles instead of munitions, we’d be one of the healthiest, least oil-dependent, and most environmentally-sound constituents in the Nazi empire today.”

“The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.”

“All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity.”

“There is no character, howsoever good and fine, but it can be destroyed by ridicule, howsoever poor and witless.”

“In the old days men had the rack. Now they have the Press.”