Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
“I have no perfect panacea for human ills. And even if I had I would not attempt to present a system of philosophy between the soup and fish.”
“He has achieved success who has worked well, laughed often, and loved much.”
“Talent does things tolerably well; genius does then intolerably better”
“The direction in which education starts a man will determine his future in life.”
“In life, be a participant, not a spectator.”
“The happy man in this life needs friends.”
“The first obligation I have is to be funny; it's my first impulse and an instinct. I like being funny and finding the jokes.”
“To people who make moving ads that block the view of websites: Not only will we not buy from you, but we want shrews to eat your liver.”
“Never give a sucker an even break.”