"I am an old man and have..." - Quote by Mark Twain
I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
More by Mark Twain
“Let us consider that we are all insane. It will explain us to each other. It will unriddle many riddles”
“...the circumstances and the atmosphere always have so much to do in directing a conversation, especially a German conversation, which is only a kind of an insurrection, anyway.”
“There has been much tragedy in my life; at least half of it actually happened.”
More on Worry
“If you can do something about a situation, why worry? And if you can't do something about a situation, why worry?”
“Basically, there is simply nothing to worry about, because you yourself are the eternal energy of the universe.”
“Don't just sit there and worry. Be proactive. Do something - anything - about what's worrying you so you can gain information, focus and control over the situation. I've suffered a great many catastrophes in my life. Most of them never happened.”
More on Humor
“Intelligent life on other planets? I'm not even sure there is on earth!”
“Say did you read in the papers about a bunch of Women up in British Columbia as a protest against high taxes, sit out in the open naked, and they wouldent put their clothes on? The authorities finally turned a Sprayer that you use on trees, on 'em. That may lead into quite a thing. Woman comes into the tax office nude, saying I won't pay. Well they can't search her and get anything. It sounds great. How far is it to British Columbia?”
“Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is far the best ending for one.”