"I can speak French but I cannot..." - Quote by Mark Twain
I can speak French but I cannot understand it.
More by Mark Twain
“Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.”
“The writing begins when you’ve finished. Only then do you know what you’re trying to say.”
“He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was three; I attended their funerals.”
More on Language
“I discover poetry when I was in elementary school and I was so fascinated by it. Because I realised if you get the right amount of syllables and the right amount of words, in the right rhyme scheme and you put it all together. You make words just bounce of a page.”
“I admire people who dare to take the language, English, and understand it and understand the melody.”
“I'm with an old family" was the euphemism used to dignify the professions of white folks' cooks and maids who talked so affectedly among their own kind in Roxbury [Massachusetts] that you couldn't even understand them.”
More on Humor
“To enter Europe, you must have a valid passport with a photograph of yourself in which you look like you are being booked on charges of soliciting sheep.”
“Lord Bendtner is the best player of all times”
“If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl.”