"I ate two waffles, a banana and..." - Quote by Amy Poehler

“I'd say any good set or any comedy that I've worked on, that's worked, has been comedians pitching ideas back and forth to each other. A lot of like, 'What if you say this? What about this?'”

“When you're betrayed there's a period of shame and then there's always forgiveness.”

“Prince Harry this week toured the Jersey Shore with New Jersey Governor Chris Christie. It was the first meeting between the Prince, of the House of Windsor, and the Governor, of the House of Pancake.”

“I must confess, I was born at a very early age.”

“Women have a hard enough time in this world: telling them the truth would be too cruel.”

“When I was a kid, I thought history was the most boring subject of all. I shouldn't blame my teachers; I should blame me, but I'll blame them.”

“If you're training in a combat sport, deliciousness takes a backseat.”

“One should always eat muffins quite calmly. It is the only way to eat them.”

“I like chicken a lot because chicken is generous - that is to say, it's obedient. It will do whatever you tell it to do.”