"A demd, damp, moist, unpleasant body!..." - Quote by Charles Dickens

“The privileges of the side-table included the small prerogatives of sitting next to the toast, and taking two cups of tea to other people's one.”

“There is prodigious strength in sorrow and despair.”

“Old Mr. Rarx was not a pleasant man to look at, nor yet to talk to, or to be with, for no one could help seeing that he was a sordid and selfish character, and that he had warped further and further out of the straight with time.”

“There was nowhere to sit except the bunk, which was covered with rotting food, and a wooden stool, upon which sat a large fur-covered lump—an old cheese, perhaps, or a dead cat.”

“He is like a female llama surprised in her bath.”

“A goodly portly man, i' faith, and a corpulent; of a cheerful look, a pleasing eye, and a most noble carriage; and, as I think, his age some fifty, or, by'r Lady, inclining to threescore; and now I remember me, his name is Falstaff.”

“As a graduate of the Zsa Zsa Gabor School of Creative mathematics, I honestly do not know how old I am.”

“Writing is the flip side of sex - it's good only when it's over.”

“All Englishmen talk as if they've got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.”