"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog:Nobody..." - Quote by Mark Twain

“It was the most earnest ambition I ever had....Not that I ever really wanted to be a preacher, but because it never occurred to me that a preacher could be damned. It looked like a safe job.”

“If you tell the truth you do not need a good memory!”

“The average man don't like trouble and danger.”

“It is a good idea to 'shop around' before you settle on a doctor. Ask about the condition of his Mercedes. Ask about the competence of his mechanic. Don't be shy! After all, you're paying for it.”

“The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice.”

“There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in, should his bank be unable to hold all of it.”

“When I work a game as an analyst, all I do is look at the game like a coach.”

“Analysis and synthesis are both as necessary to the thinking spirit as inspiration and expiration to the organism.”

“When I work a game as an analyst, all I do is look at the game like a coach. Why was something successful? What makes it work? I just try to use my expertise and whatever insight I have to the game.”