"Soap and education are not as sudden..." - Quote by Mark Twain

“Beautiful credit! The foundation of modern society. Who shall say that this is not the golden age of mutual trust, of unlimited reliance upon human promises? That is a peculiar condition of society which enables a whole nation to instantly recognize point and meaning in the familiar newspaper anecdote, which puts into the mouth of a distinguished speculator in lands and mines this remark: -- I wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and now I owe two millions of dollars.”

“Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead.”

“For all the talk you hear about knowledge being such a wonderful thing, instinct is worth forty of it for real unerringness.”

“In this distribution of functions, the scholar is the delegated intellect. In the right state, he is, Man Thinking. In the degenerate state, when the victim of society, he tends to become a mere thinker, or, still worse, the parrot of other men's thinking.”

“Youth is a beautiful dream, on whose brightness books shed a blinding dust. Will ever the day come when the wise link the joy of knowledge to youth's dream? Will ever the day come when Nature becomes the teacher of man, humanity his book and life his school? Youth's joyous purpose cannot be fulfilled until that day comes. Too slow is our march toward spiritual elevation, because we make so little use of youth's ardor.”

“The governments of the great States have two instruments for keeping the people dependent, in fear and obedience: a coarser, the army; and a more refined, the school.”

“When you're talking about fighting, as it is, with no rules, well then, baby you'd better train every part of your body!”

“I used to ask my brother Rudy to throw rocks at me. I'd dodge every one. That's how I learned how to bob and weave: ducking rocks.”

“How many push ups do you do? I don't know. I only starts counting when it starts hurting”