"There is no use in your walking..." - Quote by Mark Twain

“The man who isn't a pessimist is a damned fool.”

“Weather is a literary specialty, and no untrained hand can turn out a good article on it”

“Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.”

“Children are like TV sets. When they start acting weird, whack them across the head with a big rubber basketball shoe.”

“In one dancing saloon I saw the only rational method of art criticism I have ever come across. Over the piano was printed a notice: 'Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best.'”

“"I hope your hair curls naturally, does it?" "Yes, darling, with a little help from others."”

“Success is never found. Failure is never fatal. Courage is the only thing.”

“I wish I could say I coined the phrase "failing forward." I do it all the time. I find as I've embraced this approach to business, life, cycling and generally any new endeavor I take on, I've grown more and more comfortable with the possibility that I am not likely to succeed on my first try. And that's ok.”

“History, in general, only informs us of what bad government is.”