“With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.”

“You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.”

“When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.”

“Language is a tool for concealing the truth. If we could read each other's minds, this would be a horror show.”

“When will all the rhetorical questions end?”

“Tobacco and opium have broad backs, and will cheerfully carry the load of armies, if you choose to make them pay high for such joy as they give and such harm as they do.”

“God damn! Drug dealers dealin' to the kiddies,Livin' in the city ain't no pity on the itty-bitty.We try to cry, but still they all die,I try to speak to the youth, and the truth is: they all high.”

“Gettin high, livin' everday, like i'm gonna die.”