"Here's all you have to know about..." - Quote by George Carlin

“I feel sorry for confetti. Its useful life lasts about two seconds. And it can never be used again.”

“Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.”

“Good news for senior citizens: Death is near!”

“I would rather be seated between any two women than any two men at a dinner party.”

“Women are the best judges of anything we turn out. Their taste is very important. They are the theatergoers; they are the ones who drag the men in. If the women like it, to heck with the men.”

“A proper wife should be as obedient as a slave... The female is a female by virtue of a certain lack of qualities - a natural defectiveness.”

“Learn to let your intuition-gut instinct-tell you when the food, the relationship, the job isn't good for you (and conversely, when what you're doing is just right).”

“Watching two women kiss is like watching two prizefighters shake hands.”

“Loving Others Starts with Loving Myself”