“With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.”

“You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.”

“When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.”

“Language is a tool for concealing the truth. If we could read each other's minds, this would be a horror show.”

“When will all the rhetorical questions end?”

“Time is the old justice that examines all such offenders, and let Time try.”

“Now let it work. Mischief, thou art afoot. Take thou what course thou wilt.”

“Fire that's closest kept burns most of all.”