“The men the American people admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth.”

“Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood.”

“I hate all sports as rabidly as a person who likes sports hates common sense.”

“The chief business of the nation, as a nation, is the setting up of heroes, mainly bogus.”

“Every complex problem has a simple solution that doesn't work.”

“For in my youth I never did apply Hot and rebellious liquors in my blood.”

“I hourly learn a doctrine of obedience.”

“Keep thy foot out of brothels, thy hand out of plackets, thy pen from lender's books, and defy the foul fiend.”