"Wouldst thou enjoy a long Life, a..." - Quote by Benjamin Franklin

“A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges.”

“Be studious in your profession, and you will be learned. Be industrious and frugal, and you will be rich. Be sober and temperate, and you will be healthy. Be in general virtuous, and you will be happy. At least you will, by such conduct, stand the be.”

“Thank God! we are in the full enjoyment of all these privileges. But can we be taught to prize them too much? or how can we prize them equal to their value, if we do not know their intrinsic worth, and that they are not a gift bestowed upon us by other men, but a right that belongs to us by the laws of God and nature?”

“Priapism is what happens when someone gets strangulated to the point of hypoxia.”

“Be temperate in wine, in eating, girls, & sloth; Or the Gout will seize you and plague you both.”

“Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it.”

“Only that type of story deserves to be called moral that shows us that one has the power within oneself to act, out of the conviction that there is something better, even against one's own inclination.”

“How can we expect another to keep our secret if we have been unable to keep it ourselves?”

“Remember that you need not eat unless you are hungry.”