"Ah, to be a bird. To fly..." - Quote by George Carlin

“Of course, in Los Angeles, everything is based on driving, even the killings. In New York, most people don't have cars, so if you want to kill a person, you have to take the subway to their house. And sometimes on the way, the train is delayed and you get impatient, so you have to kill someone on the subway. That's why there are so many subway murders; no one has a car.”

“All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another”

“The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done".”

“Bureaucracy is adept at protecting its nest.”

“I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.”

“Spaghetti... I can't eat spaghetti, there's too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1,000 of something is too many. I'll have 1,000 pieces of noodles.”

“It is remarkable how many creatures live wild and free though secret in the woods.”

“When the reptile is attacked at one mouth of his burrow, he shows himself at another.”

“Many of the phenomena of Winter are suggestive of an inexpressible tenderness and fragile delicacy. We are accustomed to hear this king described as a rude and boisterous tyrant; but with the gentleness of a lover he adorns the tresses of Summer.”