"The way to hold a husband is..." - Quote by H L Mencken

“Capital punishment has probably been responsible for a good deal of human progress. The overwhelming majority of those executed were of the sort whose departures for bliss eternal improved the average intelligence and decency of the race.”

“The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

“The physical business of writing is unpleasant to me, but the psychic satisfaction of discharging bad ideas in worse English makes me forget it.”

“The have a good friend is one of the greatest delights of life.”

“Nothing can match the treasure of common memories.”

“Justice and I became friends, though we were opposites in many ways - he was extroverted, I was introverted; he was lighthearted, I was serious.”

“Since I do purpose to marry, I will think nothing to any purpose thatthe world can say against it; and therefore never floutat me for what I have said against it; for man is a giddy thing, and this is my conclusion.”

“My wife, like many women, actually LIKES wrapping things. If she gives you a gift that requires batteries, she wraps the batteries separately, which to me is very close to being a symptom of mental illness.”

“But not gold in commercial quantities, Just enough gold to make the engagement rings And marriage rings of those who owned the farm. What gold more innocent could one have asked for?”