“With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.”

“You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.”

“When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.”

“Language is a tool for concealing the truth. If we could read each other's minds, this would be a horror show.”

“When will all the rhetorical questions end?”

“How far that little candle throws its beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world.”

“The cannon will not suffer any other sound to be heard for miles and for years around it.”

“A chief event of life is the day in which we have encountered a mind that startled us.”