“With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.”

“You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.”

“When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.”

“Language is a tool for concealing the truth. If we could read each other's minds, this would be a horror show.”

“When will all the rhetorical questions end?”

“Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?”

“I have seen roses damask'd, red and white, But no such roses see I in her cheeks.”

“O, my lord, You said that idle weeds are fast in growth: The prince my brother hath outgrown me far.”