"To me the cynics are the ones..." - Quote by George Carlin

“I, myself, have killed six people. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. And, let me tell you, there's nothin' like it. It's a great feeling. Yeah, I know, you're thinking. 'Aw, he's a comedian. He's just sayin' that stuff.' Good. That's exactly what I want you to think.”

“I've been a performer for a long time and I know when people are laughing from their guts, from the inside, and when their tuxedos are laughing.”

“I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.”

“We have the best government that money can buy.”

“Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.”

“The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.”

“A man occupied with public or other important business cannot, and need not, attend to spelling.”

“Do good when you can, and charge when you think they will stand it.”

“You don't build a business --you build people-- and then people build the business.”