"May you all make it to a..." - Quote by George Carlin

“If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?”

“When I first heard the song Don't worry - be happy I realized it was exactly the kind of mindless philosophy that Americans would respond to. It would make a great national anthem along with Me first.”

“Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?”

“I wish you all the joy that you can wish.”

“Death may be the greatest of all human blessings.”

“Fair thoughts and happy hours attend on you.”

“Even when I'm old and grey, I won't be able to play it, but I'll still love the game.”

“It's better to fade away like an old soldier than to burn out.”

“O excellent! I love long life better than figs.”