"When people asked me, "Do you get..." - Quote by George Carlin

“Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.”

“I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.”

“I was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show.”

“Sometimes, when I was really loaded, I'd sit on the floor and sort out every nut and bolt in the house. It was just sheer insanity. And often there'd be speed in the cut, so I was a speed freak, too.”

“They say that love is powerful as cough syrup and Styrofoam.All I know is I fell asleep and woke up in that Monte CarloWith the ugly Kardashian...Lamar, oh, sorry. Yo, we done both set the bar low.”

“Good mescaline comes on slow. The first hour is all waiting, then about halfway through the second hour you start cursing the creep who burned you, because nothing is happening...and then ZANG!”

“On stage you're free. You can say and do things that if you said and did any place else, you'd be arrested.”

“Are you a thinker, a doer, or a clutch player? The better you are, the greater potential for influence you will have with your people.”

“There's something about the first time an actor runs the material over his or her face you know when they kind of run it through their eyes and you see the thing and there is little imperfections in it and not every line is delivered perfectly, and it doesn't have that mechanical feeling.”