"Sometimes a little brain damage can help...." - Quote by George Carlin

“The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.”

“Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away.”

“If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.”

“You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.”

“Anyone that's ever had their kitchen done over knows that it never never gets done as soon as you wish it would.”

“If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.”

“So one could say that the only real problem is dysfunctional thinking, the rest are challenges, not problems.”

“Ten years from now you'll laugh at whatever's stressing you out today. So why not laugh now?”

“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.”