"As it stands right now, I lead..." - Quote by George Carlin
As it stands right now, I lead Richard Pryor in heart attacks, two to one. However, Richard still leads me, one to nothing, in burning yourself up.
More by George Carlin
“As you swim the river of live, do the breast stroke. It helps to clear the turds from your path.”
“Most of the note-taking happens while I'm watching television. It's a broad window on the world, and a lot of things are already established in my mind as things I say, things that I'm interested in, things that are fodder for my [stand-up] machine. And when I see something that relates to one of them, I know it instantly and if it's a further exaggeration and a further addition, or an exception - if it plays into furthering my purpose, I jot it down.”
“Weather tonight: dark. Turning partly light by morning.”
More on Dark Humor
“I was an ugly child. I got lost on the beach. I asked a cop if he could find my parents. He said, 'I don't know. There's lots of places for them to hide'.”
“If someone loves you and they leave and don't come back, it was never meant to be. If someone loves you and they leave and come back, set them on fire.”
“Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.”