"I feel sorry for confetti. Its useful..." - Quote by George Carlin

“People have material needs, but you don't need a deodorant for every different day of the week. You don't need four hundred varieties of mustard. This is what I call too many choices. There are too many choices in America.”

“They're only words. You can't be afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it's an unpleasant truth.”

“Why is there such controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who'd be willing to test any drug they can come up with.”

“[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.”

“To make fun of an administration, to make fun of anything, Mark Twain said, is the last defense of democracy.”

“Show me a man with a great golf game, and I’ll show you a man who has been neglecting something.”

“Piece out our imperfections with your thoughts.”

“I'd like people to think of me as someone who cares about them.”

“The more people see that they are being understood, they become more motivated to understand your point of view.”