"Shopping and buying and getting and having..." - Quote by George Carlin

“Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.”

“I have things that are strident and confrontational, and I have a lot of things that are childlike and innocent and sort of sweet. So, somewhere in between lies the middle of me.”

“The following statement is true. The previous statement is false.”

“Who ever saw his old clothes, - his old coat, actually worn out, resolved into its primitive elements, so that it was not a deed of charity to bestow it on some poor boy, by him perchance to be bestowed on some poorer still, or shall we say richer, who could do with less? I say, beware of all enterprises that require new clothes, and not rather a new wearer of clothes.”

“It was our love of foreign cloth that ousted the wheel from its position of dignity.”

“When we die, the money we can't keep, But we probably spend it all 'cause the pain ain't cheap...”

“You shake a slogan at an American and it's just like showing a hungry dog a bone.”

“It's depressing to see blacks wanting to dive into the mainstream of American commercial life. They come from a magnificent African culture based on aesthetics, and they all want to become fort builders like the vicious people who originally enslaved them.”

“I worry about my judgment when anything I believe in or do regularly begins to be accepted by the American public.”