"I'll bring my grits when I travel,..." - Quote by Dolly Parton

“We're all just a bunch of sinners, but we do the best we can.”

“I want to be like one of those little fainting goats that get scared and then just fall over. I want to go and go and then drop dead in the middle of something I'm loving to do. And if that doesn't happen, if I wind up sitting in a wheelchair, at least I'll have my high heels on.”

“Stop this attitude that older people ain't any good anymore! We're as good as we ever were - if we ever were any good.”

“He is dead now, but he meant well.”

“I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.”

“Isn't it strange that I who have written only unpopular books should be such a popular fellow?”

“We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing”

“I have always felt cookbooks were fiction and the most beautiful words in the English language were 'room service.”

“Proper turkey preparation is critical. According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, more Americans die every year from eating improperly cooked turkey than were killed in the entire Peloponnesian War. This is because turkey can contain salmonella, which are tiny bacteria that, if they get in your bloodstream, develop into full-grown salmon, which could come leaping out of your mouth during an important business presentation.”