"Engineers at General Motors have developed a..." - Quote by George Carlin
Engineers at General Motors have developed a revolutionary new engine whose only function is to lubricate itself.
More by George Carlin
“If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side?”
“Where ideas are concerned, America can be counted on to do one of two things: Take a good idea and run it completely into the ground, or take a bad idea and run it completely into the ground.”
“I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I" in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an "I" in independence, individuality and integrity.”
More on Humor
“I can see he's not in your good books,' said the messenger. 'No, and if he were I would burn my library.”
“Day 1 -- Still tired from the move. Day 2 -- Everybody talks to me like I'm an idiot.”
“Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than Methuselah saw in his whole lifetime.”
More on Technology
“RAM: This gives guys a way of deciding whose computer has the biggest, studliest memory. That's important, because the more memory a computer has, the faster it can produce error messages.”
“People often mistake technology for a static picture. It's less like a picture and more like a movie. It's the velocity of technology innovation that matters. It's the acceleration.”
“Only if the computers really love each other.”