"I think I am, therefore, I am......" - Quote by George Carlin

“If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted?”

“As you swim the river of live, do the breast stroke. It helps to clear the turds from your path.”

“That's the whole meaning of life, isn't it? Trying to find a place for your stuff.”

“And if life be, as it surely is, a problem to me, I am no less a problem to life.”

“The "through-and-through" universe seems to suffocate me with its infallible impeccable all-pervasiveness. Its necessity , with no possibilities; its relations, with no subjects, make me feel as if I had entered into a contract with no reserved rights ... It seems too buttoned-up and white-chokered and clean-shaven a thing to speak for the vast slow-breathing unconscious Kosmos with its dread abysses and its unknown tides.”

“An explanation of cause is not a justification by reason.”

“I've never seen electricity, that's why I don't pay for it”

“It's possible that I shall make an ass of myself. But in that case one can always get out of it with a little dialectic. I have, of course, so worded my proposition as to be right either way.”

“You can milk a cow the wrong way once and still be a farmer, but vote the wrong way on a water tower and you can be in trouble.”