"What do dogs do on their day..." - Quote by George Carlin

“How is it possible to have a civil war?”

“Obviously, there are people who constrict themselves and build walls around themselves, whether it's from a moral standpoint or a patriotic standpoint, or just plain old conformity, and who therefore live in those little prisons, and when things breach those walls, it's shocking for them.”

“Life is a near-death experience.”

“I type a 101 words a minute. But it's in my own language.”

“I am against slavery simply because I dislike slaves.”

“I've actually gone to the zoo and had monkeys shout to me from their cages, "I'm in here when you're walking around like that?"”

“I am in favor of animal rights as well as human rights. That is the way of a whole human being.”

“The moles nested in my cellar, nibbling every third potato, and making a snug bed even there of some hair left after plastering and of brown paper; for even the wildest animals love comfort and warmth as well as man, and they survive the winter only because they are so careful to secure them.”

“A dog came to my door, so I gave him a bone, the dog took the bone into the back yard and buried it. I'm going to go plant a tree there, with bones on it, then the dog will come back and say, "Shoot! It worked! I must distribute these bones equally for I have a green paw!"”