"I'm 63 now. But that's just 17..." - Quote by George Carlin

“So far, this is the oldest I've been.”

“Cocaine was different. It kept saying, "You haven't had enough." I became an abuser almost instantly.”

“If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side?”

“If you owe fifty dollars you're a piker; if you owe fifty thousand dollars you're a businessman; if you owe fifty million dollars you're a tycoon; if you owe fifty billion dollars you're the government.”

“Talking death seriously is one of the tragedies of youth”

“I don’t have to walk my dog anymore. I walked him all at once.”

“Why should the imagination of a manLong past his prime remember things that areEmblematical of love and war?”

“a woman's heart has no wrinkles.”

“Alas, after a certain age every man is responsible for his face.”