"I am a personal optimist but a..." - Quote by George Carlin

“George Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.”

“hard work is a misleading term. physical effort & long hours do not constitute hard work. hard work is when someone pays you to do something you'd rather not be doing. anytime you'd rather be doing something other than the thing you're doing...you're doing hard work.”

“When people asked me, "Do you get high to go onstage?" I could never understand the question. I mean, I'd been high since eight that morning. Going onstage had nothing to do with it.”

“Let us beware of saying there are laws in nature. There are only necessities: there is no one to command, no one to obey, no one to transgress. When you realize there are no goals or objectives, then you realize, too, that there is no chance: for only in a world of objectives does the word chance have any meaning.”

“And, in fine, the ancient precept, "Know thyself," and the modern precept, "Study nature," become at last one maxim.”

“There is no road towards peace; peace is the road”

“I trust Russia and China and Iran and North Korea like I trust a Jussie Smollett police report.”

“If absolute truth belongs to anyone in this world, it certainly does not belong to the man or party that claims to possess it.”

“Do not allow yourselves to be deceived: Great Minds are Skeptical.”