"Grass probably helped me as much as..." - Quote by George Carlin

“Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?”

“People say, 'I'm going to sleep now,' as if it were nothing. But it's really a bizarre activity. 'For the next several hours, while the sun is gone, I'm going to become unconscious, temporarily losing command over everything I know and understand. When the sun returns, I will resume my life.”

“Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.”

“See what it is you would like to attract into your life. See how you would like your business to go, your relationships to go, and even your body to go in terms of overcoming addictions and dealing with weight and health issues.”

“When I do something I have to do it all the way - that goes for music, with a high-hat, a snare drum, a rhyme, everything. I have to push it to the extreme. That's how I realized I have addictive behavior. Somebody told me this once, that the thing that makes me bad is the same thing that makes me good at other things.”

“I am a professional sportswriter, among other things, and I take the games seriously. It is only one of my many powerful addictions, and I don't mind admitting any of them.”

“Hard as I try, daddy-o, I really do not like concert singers. They are always singing in some foreign language.”

“Most people think they know what they are good at. They are usually wrong... And yet, a person can perform only from strength.”

“A comedian can only last till he either takes himself serious or his audience takes him serious.”