“When I was 9, I saw a wrestler on television named Gorgeous George. He said, "I'm beautiful. I'm so pretty that if a sucker touches my face, I'll kill him. If he messes with my hair, I'll pummel him." I said to myself, "That's a good idea. I am the greatest, I'm pretty." And then I took it a little further than he did.”

“I don't know what truculent means, but if it's good, it's me”

“In America they got two policemen, five policemen and one car watching each other, each has got a pistol, one has got a machine gun, one' got a shotgun and two dogs growling at each other.”

“Who would thought only of themselves and kill their race? You would hate other people if you don't want to stay who you are.”

“The name Muhammad is the most common name in the world. In all the countries around the world - Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, Morocco, Turkey, Syria, Lebanon - there are more Muhammads than anything else.”

“...ignorant as the unborne babe! ignorant as unborn twins!”

“I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.”

“I tried to walk into Target, but I missed. I think the entrance to Target should have people splattered all around.”

“Boldness be my friend.”

“I can call spirits from the vasty deep.”

“Your wisdom is consum'd in confidence. Do not go forth to-day.”

“Lord, I could not endure a husband with a beard on his face! I had rather lie in the woolen.”

“There is no slander in an allowed fool, though he do nothing but rail.”

“I will not be sworn but love may transform me to an oyster”

“If her breath were as terrible as her terminations, there were no living near her, she would infect to the north star!”

“I can drown a drink of water. I can kill a dead tree. Don't mess with Muhammad Ali.”

“Only last week I murdered a rock, injured a stone and hospitalized a brick.”