Jonathan Swift Quotes

“A poor spirit is poorer than a poor purse. A very few pounds a year would ease a man of the scandal of avarice.”

“No man of honor, as the word is usually understood, did ever pretend that his honor obliged him to be chaste or temperate, to pay his creditors, to be useful to his country, to do good to mankind, to endeavor to be wise or learned, to regard his word, his promise, or his oath.”

“It is the first rule in oratory that a man must appear such as he would persuade others to be: and that can be accomplished only by the force of his life.”

“A traveler's chief aim should be to make men wiser and better, and to improve their minds by the bad-as well as good example of what they deliver concerning foreign places.”

“Many a truth is told in jest.”

“She watches him as a cat would watch a mouse.”

“Blot out, correct, insert, refine, enlarge, diminish, interline. Be mindful, when invention fails. To scratch your head and bite your nails.”

“Every day is an opportunity to make a new happy ending. May you live all the days of your life.”

“Had Windham possessed discretion in debate, or Sheridan in conduct, they might have ruled their age.”

“My hunger serves me instead of a clock.”

“The ruin of a State is generally preceded by an universal degeneracy of manners and contempt of religion.”

“Under this window in stormy weather I marry this man and woman together; Let none but Him who rules the thunder Put this man and woman asunder.”

“A Child will make two Dishes at an Entertainment for Friends; and when the Family dines alone, the fore or hind Quarter will makea reasonable Dish; and seasoned with a little Pepper or Salt, will be very good Boiled on the fourth Day, especially in Winter.”

“There were many times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.”

“Daphne knows, with equal ease, How to vex and how to please; But the folly of her sex Makes her sole delight to vex.”

“Poor nations are hungry, and rich nations are proud; and pride and hunger will ever be at variance.”

“Perverseness is your whole defence.”

“Rebukes are easy from our betters,From men of quality and letters;But when low dunces will affront,What man alive can stand the brunt?”

“I have known some men possessed of good qualities which were very serviceable to others, but useless to themselves; like a sun-dial on the front of a house, to inform the neighbours and passengers, but not the owner within.”

“Oh how our neighbour lifts his nose,To tell what every schoolboy knows.”

“There are few wild beasts more to be dreaded than a talking man having nothing to say.”

“There's none so blind as they that won't see.”

“111 company is like a dog, who dirts those most whom he loves best.”

“No preacher is listened to but time, which gives us the same train and turn of thought that elder people have in vain tried to put into our heads before.”

“I remember it was with extreme difficulty that I could bring my master to understand the meaning of the word opinion, or how a point could be disputable; because reason taught us to affirm or deny only where we are certain; and beyond our knowledge we cannot do either.”