"Technically, Windows is an "operating system," which..." - Quote by Dave Barry

“You've read newspaper stories about elderly widows who die and leave their entire estates to their pet cats, right? Well, your cat reads those stories too, and has spent most of its skulking, devious little life dreaming about inheriting all your money.”

“Never lick a steak knife.”

“I love the resource of the Internet. I use it all the time. Anything I'm writing - for example, if I'm writing a scene about Washington D.C. and I want to know where this monument is, I can find it right away, I can get a picture of the monument, it just makes your life so much easier, especially if you're writing fiction. You can check stuff so much quicker, and I think that's all great for writers.”

“Part of the pleasure of being alive is the knowledge that you're not dead yet.”

“Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners to thank her.”

“If the garbage man calls, tell him we don't want any.”

“I bought Windows 2.0, Windows 3.0, Windows 3.1415926, Windows 95, Windows 98, Windows ME, Windows RSVP, The Best of Windows, Windows Strikes Back, Windows Does Dallas, and Windows Let's All Buy Bill Gates a House the Size of Vermont.”

“The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything except our thinking. Thus, we are drifting toward catastrophe beyond conception. We shall require a substantially new manner of thinking if mankind is to survive.”

“Our intellect has created a new world that dominates nature, and has populated it with monstrous machines.”