"If you answered, ''Spin the Bottle,'' then..." - Quote by Dave Barry

“But from the perspective of the aging parent, there is no major difference between four and fifteen, except that when your child is four, his motoring privileges are restricted to little toy Fisher-Price vehicles which are unlikely (although I would not totally rule it out in America) to sue you.”

“When to arrive at the airport?: You should be at the airport already.”

“You don't have to think really hard to get the joke. I think humor in general appeals to all people.”

“When I was growing up in Pennsylvania, auditioning for Broadway was my dream.”

“We have a cultural notion that if children were not engineered, if we did not manipulate them, they would grow up as beasts in the field. This is the wildest fallacy in the world.”

“I went through the usual stages: imp, rascal, scalawag, whippersnapper. And, of course, after that it's just a small step to full-blown sociopath.”

“Playing bridge is a pretty old fashioned thing in a way that I really like.”

“I thought I'd go to a craft fair, and there would be a jar of jellybeans there - "Guess how many jellybeans are in this jar, and win a prize". Aw, come on, man, let just me have some. I'll tell you what, guess how many jellybeans I want! If you guessed a handful, you are right.”

“I played Chess with him and would have beaten him sometimes only he always took back his last move, and ran the game out differently”