"I got my first laugh when my..." - Quote by Phyllis Diller

“Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.”

“Before you get married you should meet your fiance's parents. It is not enough that you like his parole officer.”

“When he proposed he said, "We'll make such beautiful music together," but in this duet, his part seems to be all rests.”

“We sleep 1/3 of our lives away.”

“Spreadsheet: a kind of program that lets you sit at your desk and ask all kinds of neat "what if?" questions and generate thousands of numbers instead of actually working.”

“After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting out of the water?”

“A boy's story is the best that is ever told.”

“I knew I was blessed with a gift of having both parents.”

“(Talking about his first computer) Like all kids we not only fooled around with our toys, we changed them. If you've ever watched a child with a cardboard carton and a box of crayons create a spaceship with cool control panels, or listened to their improvised rules, such as "Red cars can jump all others," then you know that this impulse to make a toy do more is at the heart of innovative childhood play. It is also the essence of creativity.”