"I spent seven hours in a beauty..." - Quote by Phyllis Diller

“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.”

“If it weren't for my adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all.”

“All I ever learned at my mother's knee was what a bony knee looked like.”

“Go on writing plays, my boy, One of these days one of these London producers will go into his office and say to his secretary, "Is there a play from Shaw this morning?" and when she says, "No," he will say, "Well, then we'll have to start on the rubbish." And that's your chance, my boy.”

“Some people give their problems swimming lessons instead of drowning them.”

“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.”

“If you look the right way, you can see that the whole world is a garden.”

“The eye of a man should be still more reverent before the rising of a young maiden than before the rising of a star. The possibility of touch should increase respect. The down of the peach, the dust of the plum, the radiated crystal of snow, the butterfly’s wing powdered with feathers, are gross things beside that chastity that does not even know it is chaste. The young maiden is only the glimmer of a dream and is not yet statue. Her alcove is hidden in the shadows of the ideal. The indiscreet touch of the eye desecrates this dim penumbra. Here, to gaze, is to profane.”

“Schools should be the most beautiful place in every town and village-so beautiful that the punishment for undutiful children should be barred from going to school the following day.”