"Most children threaten at times to run..." - Quote by Phyllis Diller

“Most people get an appointment at a beauty parlor... I was committed!”

“Right from the start my parents had left me to fend for myself. Apparently unaware that I was a kid, they invariably treated me like an adult, perhaps because they themselves were no spring chickens.”

“I never made `Who's Who,' but I'm featured in `What's That?'”

“You seem to think that everyone can save money if they have the character to do it. As a matter of fact, there are innumerable people who have a wide choice between saving and giving their children the best possible opportunities. The decision is usually in favor of the children.”

“What we are teaches the child far more than what we say, so we must be what we want our children to become.”

“He didn't come out of my belly, but my God, I've made his bones, because I've attended to every meal, and how he sleeps, and the fact that he swims like a fish because I took him to the ocean. I'm so proud of all those things. But he is my biggest pride.”

“What greater pain could mortals have than this: To see their children dead before their eyes?”

“Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives.”

“The best thing a parent can do for a child is to love his or her spouse.”