"Hypocrite: The man who murdered his parents,..." - Quote by Abraham Lincoln

“When you have got an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run.”

“A man watches his pear-tree day after day, impatient for the ripening of the fruit. Let him attempt to force the process, and he may spoil both fruit and tree. But let him patiently wait, and the ripe pear at length falls into his lap.”

“I desire so to conduct the affairs of this administration that if at the end... I have lost every other friend on earth, I shall at least have one friend left, and that friend shall be down inside of me.”

“Like other kids wanted to become firemen or astronauts, I wanted to make people laugh.”

“Men are very confident people. Even a sixty-year-old man with no arms thinks he could play in the Super Bowl if he had to.”

“So I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said "Analogue." I said "No, just a watch."”

“He thinks like a Tory, and talks like a Radical, and that's so important nowadays.”

“Those who 'abjure' violence can do so only because others are committing violence on their behalf.”

“Society always consists, in greatest part, of young and foolish persons. The old, who have seen through the hypocrisy of the courts and statesmen, die, and leave no wisdom to their sons. They believe their own newspaper, as their fathers did at their age.”