Logic Quotes

You wouldn't have won if we'd beaten you.

But twice-two-makes-four is for all that a most insupportable thing. Twice-two-makes-four is, in my humble opinion, nothing but a piece of impudence. Twice-two-makes-four is a farcical, dressed-up fellow who stands across your path with arms akimbo and spits at you.

I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?

I walked by a dry cleaner at 3 am, and there was a sign: "Sorry, we're closed" You don't have to be sorry, it's 3 am, and you're a dry cleaner! It would be ridiculous for me to expect you to be open! I'm not gonna walk in at 10 am and say "I walked by here at 3 and you were closed - somebody owes me an apology!"

I washed mud off of mud.

I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.

I got a king-sized bed. I don't know any kings, but if one came over, I guess he'd be comfortable.

The mind which is most capable of receiving impressions is very often the least capable of drawing conclusions.

Somebody has to have the last word. If not, every argument could be opposed by another and we'd never be done with it.

This one commercial said, "Forget everything you know about slipcovers." So I did, and it was a load off of my mind. Then the commercial tried to sell slipcovers, but I didn't know what they were!

My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero?

An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs.

The strength of the computer lies in its being a logic machine. It does precisely what it is programed to do. This makes it fast and precise. It also makes it a total moron; for logic is essentially stupid.

Good philosophy must exist, if for no other reason, because bad philosophy needs to be answered.

Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it?

Every why hath a wherefore.

You're neither right nor wrong because other people agree with you. You're right because your facts are right and your reasoning is right - that's the only thing that makes you right. And if your facts and reasoning are right, you don't have to worry about anybody else.

Physics is a good framework for thinking. ... Boil things down to their fundamental truths and reason up from there.

The formula 'Two and two make five' is not without its attractions.

Accordingly, the poet should prefer probable impossibilities to improbable possibilities. The tragic plot must not be composed of irrational parts.

"No comment" is a comment.

I agree that two times two makes four is an excellent thing; but if we are dispensing praise, then two times two makes five is sometimes a most charming little thing as well.

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.

When our brain feels too weak to deal with our opponent's objections, our heart answers by casting suspicion on their underlying motives.

Instead of always asking yourself how to clear up your mental fog, learn to ask: "Can confusion know anything about clarity?"

One time a guy handed me a picture. He said, 'Here's a picture of me when I was younger.' Every picture is of you when you were younger. 'Here's a picture of me when I'm older.' 'You son of bit, how'd you pull that off Let me see that camera. What's it look like'

Probable impossibilities are to be preferred to improbable possibilities.

In hindsight, I realized I could see into the future. Which is kind of like having premonitions of flashbacks.

Escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience.

I know too well that these arguments from probabilities are imposters, and unless great caution is observed in the use of them, they are apt to be deceptive.

Chronological snobbery is the uncritical acceptance of the intellectual climate common to our own age and the assumption that whatever has gone out of date is on that account discredited. You must find why it went out of date. Was it ever refuted (and if so by whom, where, and how conclusively), or did it merely die away as fashions do? If the latter, this tells us nothing about its truth or falsehood.

Yes, that's right... love should come before logic ... Only then will man come to understand the meaning of life.

Impulse is, after all, the best linguist; its logic, if not conformable to Aristotle, cannot fail to be most convincing.

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

People who lean on logic and philosophy and rational exposition end by starving the best part of the mind.

Why do 'slow down' and 'slow up' mean the same thing? Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

In argument similes are like songs in love; they describe much, but prove nothing.

No emotion is, in itself, a judgement; in that sense all emotions and sentiments are alogical. but they can be reasonable or unreasonable as they conform to Reason or fail to conform. The heart never takes the place of the head: but it can, and should, obey it.

I love Venn diagrams. I really do, I love Venn diagrams. It's just something about those three circles and the analysis about where there is the intersection, right?

Reason is the mistress and queen of all things.[Lat., Domina omnium et regina ratio.]

Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

If facts, logic, and scientific procedures are all just arbitrarily "socially constructed" notions, then all that is left is consensus--more specifically peer consensus, the kind of consensus that matters to adolescents or to many among the intelligentsia.

Baseball is the only major sport that appears backwards in a mirror.

One of the advantages of being a 'reasonable creature' is that one can find a reason for whatever one wants to do.

But men love abstract reasoning and neat systematization so much that they think nothing of distorting the truth, closing their eyes and ears to contrary evidence to preserve their logical constructions.

The mind has its arrangement; it proceeds from principles to demonstrations. The heart has a different mode of proceeding.

All generalizations are false, including this one.

A difference which makes no difference is no difference at all.

... strange things may be generally accounted for if their cause be fairly seached out.

I remember one English teacher in the eighth grade, Florence Schrack, whose husband also taught at the high school. I thought what she said made sense, and she parsed sentences on the blackboard and gave me, I'd like to think, some sense of English grammar and that there is a grammar, that those commas serve a purpose and that a sentence has a logic, that you can break it down. I've tried not to forget those lessons, and to treat the English language with respect as a kind of intricate tool.

Instinct leads, logic does but follow.

The heart says yes, but the mind says no.

In inventing a model we may assume what we wish, but should avoid impossibilities.

Man, once surrendering his reason, has no remaining guard against absurdities the most monstrous. . . .

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

When people say “clean as a whistle”, they forget that a whistle is full of spit.

There are crimes of passion and crimes of logic. The boundary between them is not clearly defined.

Affery, like greater people, had always been right in her facts, and always wrong in the theories she deduced from them.

To say a sheep has 5 legs doesn't make it so.