"I’ve noticed that one thing about parents..." - Quote by Dave Barry

“A sense of humor is a measurement of the extent to which we realize that we are trapped in a world almost totally devoid of reason. Laughter is how we express the anxiety we feel at this knowledge.”

“Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth.”

“Unlike cats dogs never scratch you when you wash them. They just become very sad and try to figure out what they did wrong.”

“And children, if your parents haven't been teaching you what it means to be an American, let 'em know and nail 'em on it. That would be a very American thing to do.”

“It is at our mother's knee that we acquire our noblest and truest and highest ideals.”

“We need to understand the difference between discipline and punishment. Punishment is what you do to someone; discipline is what you do for someone.”

“If you want real peace in the world, start with children.”

“There's kids out there that have so much life to live. That's a beautiful thing.”

“You're never too old, too wacky, too wild, to pick up a book and read to a child.”