"The porpoises said hello to Molly. She..." - Quote by Dave Barry

“And that's the wonderful thing about family travel: it provides you with experiences that will remain locked forever in the scar tissue of your mind.”

“People don't think of writers as sex objects. The women who write to me and suggest that we ought to have sex usually turn out to be, like, eighty. And their letters always end with, "Just joking."”

“And, of course, you have the commercials where savvy businesspeople get ahead by using their MacIntosh computers to create the ultimate American business product: a really sharp-looking report.”

“He who take cookie to bed have crummy night ahead.”

“That roguish and cheerful vice, politeness.”

“Ninety percent of putts that are short, don't go in.”

“Cow-slaughter can never be stopped by law.”

“For many people who are so lost in their minds, so much involved in their thought processes, the only moments they have when they are not trapped in that is when they are relating to their animal, their pet.”

“Some animals are cunning and evil-disposed, as the fox; others, as the dog, are fierce, friendly, and fawning. Some are gentle and easily tamed, as the elephant; some are susceptible of shame, and watchful, as the goose. Some are jealous and fond of ornament, as the peacock.”