"And that's the wonderful thing about family..." - Quote by Dave Barry

“The central point of this final chapter is that - follow my logic carefully here - unless you die, you will continue to get older. (It's insights like this that separate the professional book author from the person with a real job.)”

“I had no shoes and I pitied myself. Then I met a man who had no feet, so I took his shoes.”

“He felt a momentary pang of regret that he had not spent more time with his beloved wife. But it passed when he remembered that the reason he’d gone to sea in the first place was that he had never really liked his beloved wife.”

“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute.”

“I'd love to play bass with Parliament Funkadelic, but I can't play bass, so I don't think that's going to happen.”

“I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired.”

“Marriage and the up-bringing of children in the home require as well-trained a mind and as well-disciplined a character as any other occupation that might be considered a career.”

“I knew I was blessed with a gift of having both parents.”

“My mother made a brilliant impression upon my childhood life. She shone for me like the evening star.”