"Aside from Velcro, time is the most..." - Quote by Dave Barry
Aside from Velcro, time is the most mysterious substance in the universe.
More by Dave Barry
“What a crock. I could easily overemphasize the importance of good grammar. For example, I could say: Bad grammar is the leading cause of slow, painful death in North America, or Without good grammar, the United States would have lost World War II.”
“The Japanese tend to be far more co-operative and docile and group-oriented. It would be easier to get the entire population of Tokyo to wear matching outfits than to get any two randomly selected Americans to agree on pizza toppings.”
“I read the whole Jack Reacher series by Lee Child. They don't take long.”
More on Humor
“I like policy - call me a nerd.”
“Laugh at yourself and at life. Not in the spirit of derision or whining self-pity, but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain, cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective that seemingly terrible defeat... Never take yourself too seriously.”
“No matter what time your guests arrive, pretend they're early, so naturally you're not ready.”
More on Time
“To me, fair friend, you never can be old,For as you were when first your eye I eyed,Such seems your beauty still. Three winters coldHave from the forests shook three summers' pride,Three beauteous springs to yellow autumn turn'dIn process of the seasons have I seen,Three April perfumes in three hot Junes burn'd,Since first I saw you fresh, which yet are green.”
“Only our concept of time makes it possible for us to speak of the Day of Judgment by that name in reality it is a summary court in perpetual session.”
“All is ephemeral - fame and the famous as well.”