"You might have mentioned this to me..." - Quote by Dave Barry

“There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who have several thousand extra dollars apiece.”

“The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery.”

“Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said "CIGARETTES CONTAIN FAT.”

“Nothing tells more about the character of a man than the things he makes fun of.”

“The only certainties in life are death and taxes.”

“I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure.”

“People tend to forget their duties but remember their rights.”

“The most fundamental form of human stupidity is forgetting what we were trying to do in the first place.”

“To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity.”