"Newspaper : A device unable to distinguish..." - Quote by George Bernard Shaw

“It is doubtless wise, when a reform is introduced, to try to persuade the British public that it is not a reform at all; but appearances must be kept up to some extent at least.”

“I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake.”

“In a hospital they throw you out into the street before you are half cured, but in a nursing home they don't let you out till you are dead.”

“It is the folly of too many to mistake the echo of a London coffee-house for the voice of the kingdom.”

“The smarter the journalists are, the better off society is. For to a degree, people read the press to inform themselves - and the better the teacher, the better the student body.”

“Nothing you see on the Internet is mine unless it comes from one of my albums, books, HBO specials, or appeared on my website.”

“Reporters aren't stupid. We were standing around talking about which of the 900 health-care proposals that nobody's going to accept is that day's hot news. They know how silly that is. But that's what they do.”

“The fact that Gene Weingarten and I and Bathroom Inventory are now part of some kind of Matrix of Poop strongly suggests that the Pulitzer is not what it once was.”

“A statesman is an easy man, he tells his lies by rote.A journalist invents his lies, and rams them down your throat.So stay at home and drink your beer and let the neighbors vote.”