“I know it is wet and the sun is not sunny, but we can have lots of good fun that is funny.”

“Through three cheese trees three free fleas flew. While these fleas flew, freezy breeze blew. Freezy breeze made these three trees freeze. Freezy trees made these trees' cheese freeze. That's what made these three free fleas sneeze.”

“Adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them.”

“Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.”

“Children's reading and children's thinking are the rock-bottom base upon which this country will rise.”

“Lord, I could not endure a husband with a beard on his face! I had rather lie in the woolen.”

“There is no slander in an allowed fool, though he do nothing but rail.”

“I will not be sworn but love may transform me to an oyster”

“Some civil servants are neither servants nor civil.”

“It was evident however that the lawyers would have to have their say....This also opened up a vista both lengthy and obscure.”

“No one who has read official documents needs to be told how easy it is to conceal the essential truth under the apparently candid and all- disclosing phrases of a voluminous and particularizing report.”

“There are so many groups making so much money in the medical care system that any major reorganization is going to make someone unhappy or anxious at the least, ... I don't know how you do it.”

“Even if her children or grandchildren are willing to spend their own money to keep grandma alive, when bureaucrats control the necessary technology or medication they may decide that it is not for sale.”

“Cheap medical care is one of the most expensive things there is. So long as politicians can create the illusion of something for nothing, that gets them votes, which is what it is all about, as far as they are concerned.”

“Thou hast most traitorously corrupted the youth of the realm in erecting a grammar school.”

“I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.”

“The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.”