"get married with the feeling it is..." - Quote by Phyllis Diller

“I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'”

“I never made `Who's Who,' but I'm featured in `What's That?'”

“Everybody knows how lazy he is. One day the neighbors saw Fang mow the lawn and I got three Get Well cards.”

“I desperately loved my husband and I wanted to share everything together, and I thought that we were a very good team.”

“I think that gay marriage should be between a man and a woman.”

“If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.”

“I never loved another person the way I loved myself.”

“Love is the profoundest of secrets. Divulged, even to the beloved, it is no longer Love. As if it were merely I that loved you. When love ceases, then it is divulged.”

“When we find someone who is brave, fun, intelligent, and loving, we have to thank the universe.”